A customer walks into a restaurant and notices a large sign on the wall: $500 IF WE FAIL TO FILL YOUR ORDER! When his waitress arrives, he orders elephant dung on rye. She calmly writes down his order and walks into the kitchen where all ... Read more of Unusual order at Free Jokes.caInformational Site Network Informational
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wit Wisdom And Humor Of Tea




Tea tempers the spirits and harmonizes the mind, dispels
lassitude and relieves fatigue, awakens thought and prevents
drowsiness, lightens or refreshes the body, and clears the
perceptive faculties.--CONFUCIUS.

Thank God for tea! What would the world do without tea?--how
did it exist? I am glad I was not born before tea.--SYDNEY
SMITH.

Sammy, whispered Mr. Weller, if some o' these here people
don't want tappin' to-morrow mornin', I ain't your father, and
that's wot it is. Why this here old lady next me is a drown-in'
herself in tea.

Be quiet, can't you? murmured Sam.

Sam, whispered Mr. Weller, a moment afterward, in a tone of
deep agitation, mark my words, my boy; if that 'ere secretary
feller keeps on for five minutes more, he'll blow himself up with
toast and water.

Well, let him if he likes, replied Sam; it ain't no bis'ness of
yourn.

If this here lasts much longer, Sammy, said Mr. Weller, in the
same low voice, I shall feel it my duty as a human bein' to rise
and address the cheer. There's a young 'ooman on the next form
but two, as has drank nine breakfast cups and a half; and she's a
swellin' wisibly before my wery eyes.--Pickwick Papers.

Books upon books have been published in relation to the evil
effects of tea-drinking, but, for all that, no statistics are at
hand to show that their arguments have made teetotalers of
tea-drinkers. One of the best things, however, said against
tea-drinking is distinctly in its favor to a certain extent. It is
from one Dr. Paulli, who laments that tea so dries the bodies of
the Chinese that they can hardly spit. This will find few
sympathizers among us. We suggest the quotation to some enterprising
tea-dealer to be used in a street-car advertisement.

Of all methods of making tea, that hit upon by Heine's Italian
landlord was perhaps the most economical. Heine lodged in a
house at Lucca, the first floor of which was occupied by an
English family. The latter complained of the cookery of Italy in
general, and their landlord's in particular. Heine declared the
landlord brewed the best tea ho had ever tasted in the country,
and to convince his doubtful English friends, invited them to
take tea with him and his brother. The invitation was accepted.
Tea-time came, but no tea. When the poet's patience was exhausted,
his brother went to the kitchen to expedite matters. There he
found his landlord, who, in blissful ignorance of what company
the Heines had invited, cried: You can get no tea, for the
family on the first floor have not taken tea this evening.

The tea that had delighted Heine was made from the used leaves
of the English party, who found and made their own tea, and
thus afforded the landlord an opportunity of obtaining at once
praise and profit by this Italian method of serving a pot of tea.
--Chambers's Journal.

[Illustration of two women]





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