wit Wisdom And Humor Of Tea



Tea tempers the spirits and harmonizes the mind, dispels

lassitude and relieves fatigue, awakens thought and prevents

drowsiness, lightens or refreshes the body, and clears the

perceptive faculties.--CONFUCIUS.



Thank God for tea! What would the world do without tea?--how

did it exist? I am glad I was not born before tea.--SYDNEY

SMITH.



Sammy, whispered Mr. Weller, if some o' these here people

don't want tappin' to-morrow mornin', I ain't your father, and

that's wot it is. Why this here old lady next me is a drown-in'

herself in tea.



Be quiet, can't you? murmured Sam.



Sam, whispered Mr. Weller, a moment afterward, in a tone of

deep agitation, mark my words, my boy; if that 'ere secretary

feller keeps on for five minutes more, he'll blow himself up with

toast and water.



Well, let him if he likes, replied Sam; it ain't no bis'ness of

yourn.



If this here lasts much longer, Sammy, said Mr. Weller, in the

same low voice, I shall feel it my duty as a human bein' to rise

and address the cheer. There's a young 'ooman on the next form

but two, as has drank nine breakfast cups and a half; and she's a

swellin' wisibly before my wery eyes.--Pickwick Papers.



Books upon books have been published in relation to the evil

effects of tea-drinking, but, for all that, no statistics are at

hand to show that their arguments have made teetotalers of

tea-drinkers. One of the best things, however, said against

tea-drinking is distinctly in its favor to a certain extent. It is

from one Dr. Paulli, who laments that tea so dries the bodies of

the Chinese that they can hardly spit. This will find few

sympathizers among us. We suggest the quotation to some enterprising

tea-dealer to be used in a street-car advertisement.



Of all methods of making tea, that hit upon by Heine's Italian

landlord was perhaps the most economical. Heine lodged in a

house at Lucca, the first floor of which was occupied by an

English family. The latter complained of the cookery of Italy in

general, and their landlord's in particular. Heine declared the

landlord brewed the best tea ho had ever tasted in the country,

and to convince his doubtful English friends, invited them to

take tea with him and his brother. The invitation was accepted.

Tea-time came, but no tea. When the poet's patience was exhausted,

his brother went to the kitchen to expedite matters. There he

found his landlord, who, in blissful ignorance of what company

the Heines had invited, cried: You can get no tea, for the

family on the first floor have not taken tea this evening.



The tea that had delighted Heine was made from the used leaves

of the English party, who found and made their own tea, and

thus afforded the landlord an opportunity of obtaining at once

praise and profit by this Italian method of serving a pot of tea.

--Chambers's Journal.



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